More information about family dynamics and patterns
This information is only a summary of hidden family dynamics and patterns. It gives you an idea how family dynamics can affect your daily life.
Family secrets are those things that a family member has done or has happened to a family member but the family is ashamed of it and by not talking about it pretends it never happened. Family secrets can be all sorts of things such as illegitimate children, sexual abuse, suicide(s), war experiences, criminal activities, etc.
Within the family it is ‘not done’ to talk about the family secret(s), to bring it up. By not talking about it, to keep completely silent about it, the secret is tangible as it is loaded with a certain kind of energy. Family members, even the ones who don’t know, feel something is wrong but can’t quite put their finger on it. If one of the family members raises a question about this feeling of something being wrong, he is usually met by a blank stare of the other family members. He might even get the feeling he is talking to a brick wall; no reaction what so ever which isn’t exactly a normal reaction if you bring something up.
Sometimes a family member having done a terrible thing in the eye of his family is even excluded from the family. In this case the sense of a family secret present within a family is particularly strong and it is likely that another family member gets entangled in the excluded member’s faith maybe even generations later. This entanglement can take all sorts of forms such as the family member having no sense of belonging, feeling estranged, etc.
Be aware that the very existence of family secrets within a family can have a strong influence on the family’s history. For example, trust can be an issue for these family members as subconsciously the members feel nobody is telling the truth. Shame and anger can be themes within these families as somebody has been excluded from the family system.
It is important for you to find out if there is a family secret and if so, how it affects you. If you are only aware of a family secret is mostly enough to bring energy in motion. If you are able to bring the secret to the surface it will affect the whole family in a positive way.